30 Day Writing Challenge
The other day I was talking to a friend and I was telling her a story about an ex-boyfriend of mine. The story was that I was a needy little pest who was constantly complaining that he wasn’t paying enough attention to me. My friend was surprised that I’d called myself out and said it was big of me to admit that. To some extent she is right, but it’s more than that. The reason why I can openly talk about my short comings is because I’m not bitter. That relationship happened and it didn’t work out — I guess I could be bitter and say it was a complete waste of time, but what purpose would that serve me? Say I was in love with that guy, or he had done something terrible to me, should I be bitter and blame everything on him? No, and here is why….
Every action has a reaction by which you get to decide the outcome. For example, sometimes I think to myself, wow I should have done this or that instead of what I ended up doing….but then I think about the alternative. Well, had I done this or that instead of what I actually did, then I might not be where I am today and most importantly, I wouldn’t know what I know now. If I’d stayed with that boyfriend, if he’d continued to feed into my neediness, would I have come to the conclusion that there was something I was doing wrong? Probably not.
The point here is that everything happens for a reason. It sounds cliche but the thing is, you have to believe it for it to be true! If you believe everything happens for a reason then you will slowly but surely start to let go of your resentment, doubt, and bitterness towards the world. Maybe you didn’t get that job, and yes the interview was a prick, but you ended up getting a better job or you realized that wasn’t really what you wanted to do anyways. The key is not to blame everyone else for your misfortunes. Don’t blame yourself either. Life is full of unfortunate events and if we go around trying to find someone or something to blame, we will always hold bitterness in our hearts.
Instead of playing the blame game, consider reflecting on the experience as a learning opportunity. As long as you can look at your failures, shortcoming, missed opportunities and regrets as learning experiences, then you will be able to leverage those experiences to be a better you. Even if what you learned is as simple as, “I wasn’t what they were looking for at that company,” at least now you can move onward and forward. And the best part is that you will be able to release the bad juju that came with it.